Monday, August 18, 2014

Burnt Out Wonder Woman

I've also been searching for the perfect Burnt Out Wonder Woman meme, where we see her the day AFTER being so Wonder-ful, saving the day and taking care of shit. Cause the next day I'm sure she's totally strung out and can't seem to form a complete thought, get anyone dressed, or feed them anything remotely resembling food.

The past few weeks have felt like that -- alternating between being a kick-ass multi-tasker and a bumbling bag lady still in her PJs at 11am ... ok 5pm. It seems I can never quite find that middle ground, that happy medium between productive and relaxed, where the house is clean but not obsessive, the parenting is "just right" -- good enough, because anything more than that is, let's be honest, lost on the 3 year old.

No, I'm only ever at one extreme or the other. Let's take last week. Freelance gig revved into high gear and I did 20 hours of work from my kitchen table; D's wedding handkerchiefs are due oh so very soon that I'm pressing and hemming fabric next to my laptop while simultaneously rendering said freelance gig; Newborn Care class on Saturday meant I was finalizing the lesson plan and practicing the lesson with the child (luckily, bathing and diapering a baby doll is the same as 'playing', so 2 birds); and Etsy is doing very nice things for me lately, so DURING class on Saturday I got an order for a Notre Dame Baby Sweater (Go Irish, indeed). Also, you know parenting. And general self-care. And the keeping of the house. My husband said that he wouldn't let me become a "home-maker", which is why, I think, he's so willing to take the kiddo (and the dog) away on Saturday mornings so I can teach class. And some weeks I'm totally on top of things like dinner -- remembering to defrost something deserves a freaking medal. And when I set up activities for the child, I'm all "give me a mom of the year award, please".

But more often than not, those weeks when I do 3 out of 7 of my jobs at once (freelance TV planner, Childbirth Educator, Knitter/home-made wedding favor-maker), the last four (house-keeper, mother, wife, self) usually get thrown to the back-burner and left to boil over/burn/curdle. I let the kid watch movies all day, I don't shower to eat anything good, and we have pasta and meatballs for dinner -- and don't get me wrong, pasta and meatballs are awesome, so I'm usually not too worried about that one. It's when the kid eats cereal for the 5 meals and snacks leading up to pasta and meatballs that I start of feel guilty.

Oh the guilt. Really, it's when I let any of these 7 jobs slide. I feel like I'm not networking my classes enough, I'm not getting D's handkercheifs done fast enough. And heaven forbid I take a day/night off to just chill out with a book. And it's all me ... no one else is putting pressure on me except me. But I'm a bitch, so when I do it it's totally not in a nice way.

But the alternative is actually DOING all 7 of the jobs, after which I am so burnt out that I can't do ANY of them. Cue mom and kid in their jammies all day, effing around on facebook. Aaaaaand cue more guilt.

Maybe more lists is the answer?

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Words of encouragement

Made especially for The Unstoppable Mrs. Kinne.

Toddlers are hard. Babies are hard. Nursing is hard. Parenting is hard. Work is hard. Life is hard.

But you're Amazing. Loving. Generous. Talented. Smart. Unstoppable.

And yes ... Awesome.