But I have a toddler

What am I supposed to do with this child? He's two. I work from home. He's with me 24 hours a day.

I asked the Nurse Navigator if they had a program where a volunteer could watch him if I had to bring him to an appointment. Bless her, she tried to hide the fact that no one has ever asked her that before.

One hospital is near my parents. One hospital is near my friends. One hospital is near none of them. Should't I be choosing the doctors and hospitals based on where the best treatments would be, not on where I can find a babysitter?

I can't wait to call the local support center and ask if I can bring my baby to fucking healing imagery painting class.

Also fucking healing imagery painting. What the fuck is that?

My husband said that it would make the old ladies feel right at home, because it's like the class at the nursing home. Great. How about "power-networking for cancer patients"? "Managing Chemo on MCAS testing day"? "Mama needs a drink, and other things you're not allowed to have anymore"?


I'm still in the angry phase, clearly.


Last night I searched "breast cancer with young children". Every hit was how to talk to kids about cancer. That's not what I want. I want how to deal with the practical. How do I change his diaper if I'm not supposed to lift him? How do I keep up with them if I'm hurting?


I know I know, people will help. If I ask, people will help. But how do I ask someone else to mother my children, when I don't know how long this will last?